


How to Get Kicked Out of the Marvel Universe

by Jaybirds_Night



Series: How to Get Kicked Out of... [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Humor, Pretty much all the marvel characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-08-31 06:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8568604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaybirds_Night/pseuds/Jaybirds_Night
Summary: Ever wonder what crazy shit the characters of the Marvel Universe get up to in their spare time?





	1. 1-4

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> Also an important announcement/warning! The pairings you see listed above play almost no role in this entire work. You can think of it more as an implied relationship. I just wanted to clear that up before jumping into the story because I know some people don't like the idea of pairings.

**1) Play chess**  

Magneto and Professor X were once again having their "friendly" weekend chess match at the mansion. And once again it ended in something being blown up. 

"And this Erik, is why we can't have nice things," Charles explained as he stared at the gaping hole in the wall. 

Erik crossed his arms over his chest as if to pout. "It could have been avoided if you would at least try to play the correct way!" 

"Why must you always assume I don't know what I'm doing?!" 

"Because you keep trying to read my mind, you cheat!" 

"I'm not having this conversation with you," Charles huffed and rolled out of the room.  

 

 **2) Test Quicksilver's speed**  

Tony wanted to be able to record Pietro's fastest time, teasing him about how the Flash was faster than him. 

The teasing worked and they started the experiment without Clint or Wanda's knowledge. 

Tony immediately regretted it. 

Pietro was currently lying on the ground –looking half-dead– with a pissed off Clint standing over him and Wanda yelling at Tony in the background. 

"I'm as fast as the Flash, old man," Pietro panted, a weak smirk curling his lips. 

Despite how angry he was, Clint couldn't help cracking a small smile at the boy.

 

 **3) Bring your kid to work**  

Cassie watched the massive food war that was going on in the dining room which consisted of an army of ants, the Pym’s and her Dad's friends. She didn't know what to think of it. 

She peered up at her Dad with wide eyes. "Daddy? Is this how work is for you everyday?" She asked innocently. 

Scott smiled down at her nervously. "Something like it, pumpkin."  

 

 **4) Blue man group**  

As he scanned the room Scott Summers noticed the distinct coloring of Beast, Mystique, and Nightcrawler. 

"Looks like we're the next blue man group..." He mumbled. 

Mystique, who overheard him, rolled her eyes. "Oh joy," she groaned.


	2. 5-8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From dogs to cooking blind...

**5) Adopt random strays**  

When Steve walked into his and Bucky's place in the Avengers tower he was not expecting to find five dogs. 

"Bucky..." He sighed, "What have I told you about adopting random strays?" 

Bucky stuck out his lower lip in a pout as he pet one of the strays, a German Shepard. "But they love me..." 

Steve rubbed the space between his eyes and groaned. He could never say no to Bucky. 

 

 **6) Thor and names**  

"You are very skilled Water of Death," Thor boomed, patting Deadpool on the back. 

"Thanks dude!" 

 

 **7) Death of pets**  

"They were so young!" Scott wailed, blowing his nose loudly into his handkerchief. 

Luis patted him on the back as they stood over the crushed bodies, tears in his eyes. "I know man, they never got to live out their dreams!" 

Hank, who was talking a morning stroll, stopped beside them on the sidewalk to see what all the fuss was about. When he saw what exactly they were crying over he let out an exaggerated sigh.  

"Scott, you can't keep getting this worked up every time someone steps on an ant! It's embarrassing!" 

 

 **8) Blind man in the kitchen**  

Frank was sleeping peacefully on the couch when a series of loud clanks and rattles woke him. He groaned, rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes before his attention was drawn to the kitchen. 

Matt was standing in front of the stove, awkwardly trying to pour water into a pot. Frank sighed and left his spot on the couch to help. "I'm not trusting a blind man to make me breakfast, even if you do have freak senses." 

Matt turned to face the direction of Frank's voice with a pout. 

"That ain't going to work on me, Red and you know it. Now hand over the cup."


	3. 9-12

**9 Play baseball inside**  

"Batter up!" Clint shouted just before throwing the baseball straight at Thor. 

Thor swung his hammer at the perfect angle, sending the ball past Clint and the outfielders only to slam right through the wall of the training room. 

Natasha, one of the outfielders, stared at the hole in shock. "Shit..." 

 

 **10) Discover Medusa**  

Medusa, queen of the Inhumans, grimaced at the ancient sculpture of a snake haired women.  

"I look nothing like this foul creature!" 

 

 **11) Earth Day**  

When Groot learned about 'Earth day' he became extremely excited. 

"I am Groot." 

"What?! We are not going to Earth to celebrate some damn holiday no one cares about!" Rocket said. 

"I AM GROOT!" 

"If you want to so bad then ask Quill! I'm not the one who drives this whirly bird!" 

Groot responded with a grunt and stalked off to find their captain. 

The team did eventually end up visiting the familiar planet but never went back on Earth day after Groot accidently got planted. 

 

 **12) Hand wavy thing**  

Tony watched as Wanda waved her hands in a fluid motion, red energy flowing from her finger tips. 

"Uh... why do you have to do that weird hand wavy thing?" He asked suddenly. 

Wanda stopped to looked at him, hands dropping to her sides as she thought of an answer. "I... I actually don't know..."


	4. 13-16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to post these yesterday so I apologize for that.  
> Hope you enjoy~! Don't forget to comment :D

**13) Drinking game**  

Jessica Jones sat at the bar with Thor. "I will drink you under the table Goldilocks," she said, a full glass of scotch in her hand. 

Thor raised a brow. "Is that a challenge I hear Lady Jones?" 

"You bet your ass it is!" 

The Asgardian let out a booming laugh, holding his own glass out in cheers. "Well then I accept!" 

Jessica smirked as she tapped her glass against his before downing it in one gulp, summoning the bartender to keep them coming. 

About an hour or so later Luke arrived at the bar to see a familiar bulking figure passed out against the counter, his wife sitting in the stool beside the man. 

"Sweet Christmas..." 

When Jessica noticed her husband she smiled like an idiot. "I beat an Asgardian at his own game! Aren't you proud of me?!" 

Luke shook his head with a laugh as he found her drunken state to be quite amusing. "Of course I am," he began. "It's an... _unique_ achievement." 

 

 **14) Eat the vegetables!**  

Natasha scowled at the green monster, disappointed.

"Hulk, you better eat your vegetables or no smashing," she said in a stern tone. 

Hulk grunted and huffed as he eyed the plate of carrots and broccoli, his nose wrinkling in disgust. "Ugh! Hulk don't want veggies!" 

 

 **15)** **Unaliving**  

"Oh come on, baby boy! Why can't I just partially unalive them?" Deadpool whined, falling on the ground dramatically in front of Spiderman. "I'm so bored!"

"I don't care! Killing is wrong!"

Deadpool rolled onto his stomach with a childish pout. "But then it's no fun!" 

Spiderman put his hands on his hips and frowned. "Well then you'll just have to have fun a different way." 

"Ugh! Lame!" 

 

 **16)** **Dance off**  

"Oh yeah! Shake your tail feather!" Peter whooped, shuffling around a group of hostile aliens in erratic motions. 

"Quill! What in Glactius' name are you doing?!" Gamora exclaimed, cutting down two enemies. She had noticed Peter goofing off in the middle of battle and was not amused. 

"Dance off!" He replied cheerfully, oblivious to Gamora's irritation. "I'm distracting them with my epic popping and locking!"

Drax, who had just body slammed a few aliens, appeared confused. "What is this 'popping and locking' you speak of?" 

"Dan-" Quill was suddenly cut off by Gamora's loud roar. "Shut it! We need to concentrate!" 


	5. 17-20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez, I haven't updated this in so long!

**17) Flaming skulls at concerts**  

Taking Johnny Blaze to a punk rock concert was a bad decision which the young hero, Peter Parker, soon found out. 

They hadn't even entered the stadium when Johnny's head suddenly erupted into flames. " _So many sinners..._ " Ghost Rider's distorted voice sent shivers down his spine. 

"God dammit," Peter muttered under his breath as the appearance of the flaming skull drew everyone's attention to them. 

 

 **18) Sing "Let it Go"**  

Letting Bobby see Frozen was one of the worst things to happen at the Mansion. Especially when he decided to pull an Elsa and sing Let it Go while making a giant ice castle in the backyard. 

 

 **19** **) Introduce Rocket to Bucky**  

When Rocket laid eyes on Bucky's metal arm he didn't even get a chance to open his mouth before Peter—in another room—shouted, "NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT!" 

 

 **2** **0** **) Climb through the air vents**  

Clint had challenged Natasha to a prank war and was crawling through the vents to sneak up on her. Bucky, not being in on the prank war, heard something coming from the vents and pulled out a gun to investigate. 

Nat then walked in, unfazed by Clint's muffled screams after Bucky randomly shot at the ceiling.


End file.
